It made me realize something I don't like about my parents. There are parts of them I love. My mom was a great cook and outgoing. My Dad was wise, smart, calm, timid, modest...
Something made me realize one reason why they were perfect for eachother. As children they were both told by their parents that they were no good; no bodies.
My mother rebelled a retreated.
My father stayed and lost who he was. From then on he didn't like himself. He could never become anything because he never thought he could; he never believed in himself enough. He found religion and to try to find a part of him that is good because he needed some other bigger parent like "God" to reassure him that he is good; he has reason. He wasn't comfortable to be himself and find people to except who he really truely is. Instead, he didn't know himself and had to, for his sake, to follow. He became a husband and a father, which I'm sure he thought he could never do. But now his children are moved out and his mariage is breaking, like it has been for over 10 years.
If my father saw what I wrote, I might be wrong on somethings possibly, but not far from the truth anyway...
On another topic, sometimes I feel as if I have no friends. But I think of those people who put up with me and love me and it is enough. Everyone wants to have a lot of friends but I think how many I have is the right amount for me. I'm not much of a partier. I just like to hang out, talk and play a game or something. I would love to find someone to jam with again. I miss my friend who I used to jamm with. I need that again. I miss singing infront of people. I just want to sing.
I have to more accepting of myself too and let whoever accept who I am. That`s always a challenge on account that we all put masks on at some point of the day. I shall do my best for my sake.
Pics of the day:
I wish writing music was this easy.
And here is something for you to go all `Daaaaaaawwwww!!`at.
snoogin
Bleh, I wrote a comment from my heart, but my computer fucked it up and now I lost it. It went something like this:
ReplyDeleteThere's a place for everyone in the world, but it's easy to feel lost. Just having someone to support you 100 percent can make all the difference. There's good in everyone and sometimes a person just needs someone else to recognize that in order for that person to see it themselves. Your parents may have been told they were no good, but that's not true at all. I think they may just need someone to point out the good in them.
As for having more friends, I believe quality is more important than quantity. And as your friend, I do not "put up with you." I enjoy your company because you accept me for who I am, just as I accept you for being who you are.
PS - about the kitten clip: D'awwwwww!