Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thank "god" for sisters and glee

I guess it's hard to get into the reality that my parents are just too....in over their heads. I sure as hell can't fix the hell they have chose to live in. I just don't have any more sympathy for them because there is always the time to leave eachother and choose a better life. But they just keep going down
down
down.

I'm pretty sure my mom is not going to my graduation again. It's like high school graduation and prom aaaalll over again. Didn't come to either; said she had to work or some bloody excuse like ITS MY DAYY OFF!! What a selfish cow...I'm sad, angry and disappointed. You'd think since I'm her daughter n all and the only child of hers to go to a University, she would make some effort to come and see me gradutate motha-fookan university. I think it's because she has never graduation from high school and never really had any goals. So, to see one of her offspring actually do something with her life, it must be unbarable to see.

I just...I can't see them as much of a part of my family.

My sisters are my family. I wish my oldest sister lived closer but thanks to gmail phone I can phone her when I want now! My 2nd oldest sister does live close so I get to see her a little more often.

I think I may go to Poland this summer. It's actually not that expensive. I'm going to finish my script there and try to find some of my family. I feel incomplete because I don't know that side of me. I guess I should start to learn a bit of basic polish then. Yaaay another launguage to learn! I can barely spell in English, let alone french or polish!! The pols have a different alphabet!! Shheeeeet ssssonn!

glee isn't coming out with another episode until April. WHAT THE HELL. Where am I gunna gets me somma that cheezy high school drammaneess with alls them singing oh soo goood. I guess I could play Degrassi and Moulin Rouge at the same time, lol! Yesss...thaat's iit.

Photos of the day:


This is the hair I wanted...and I'm sooo cloooose. Muhahhaha.

Brittney for glee is my fav! She has all the best one liners!




snoogin

Friday, March 18, 2011

One thing about myself that I find odd, among other things, is that I don't know when I'm feeling down. I think to myself because of my actions( or things I ain't doin but should be) if I am or not. Like last semester because of family things and not having much school work to do I was just in a hole. I didn't want to do anything-nor go to class- nor see my classmates-go to work-anything. I just wanted to be mindless and self medicate way too much. I can only see when the darkness has past when I finally realize that I was sick mentally. I understand when someone is in such a rut they can be blind of their actions and emotions.

This semester started in the same way but I feel much better now. Maybe because I've figured that what is going on at home I can't fix. They are adults and if they can't take care of themselves and their problems then Que sera sera.

I feel much more sure of myself on things too. I think the new version of my beat sheet for screenwriting class has inspired me to change my ways and inspire me to better myself. There are somethings worth working for and bettering yourself for..like yourself and your future. I'm very excited about my new version. I hope my professor likes it.

I am thinking about singing in front of my peers. I havn't sung in front of a crowd since my last year in High School. I just don't know what song. I want it to be about graduation and such but something more. I am on the look out right now for something. Hopefully I will be inspired.

I am loving singer that I've found. Adele. She sings great. I bought her new CD. I hadn't boughten a CD in yeears. It's pretty sweet. I like her hit Rolling in the Deep and Set the Rain on Fire.

No photo of the day today. I'm not on my computer.

snoogin